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Saturday, December 11, 2010

Dino Announcement!

Major Announcement!

The giant frickin dinosaur visited me again and made an offer! He said that for everyone that donates $10, they can tell him to do something and he will do it. He explains in this video:

Now, keep in mind that this does have limits. He can talk, sing, make phone calls, fight with Carl, anything you've seen him do previously, along with another thing or two like eat and play fetch. So be creative, donate, and see the dino do his thing!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Dinosaur Butts 2

When I was walking out of work on Friday, I discovered my friend the giant frickin' dinosaur with a foot on the hood of my car.  He insisted that not enough people have been visiting and threw another CD at me.  This is the file that was on that CD.  My car is now down at A-Street Automotive having the T-Rex footprint pounded out of the hood.

So yeah... um... might be in your best interest to donate or something.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Dinosaur Butts

I know I haven't made many updates to this website recently, and it's mostly because after the Ride for the Cure for My Brother's Butt, I got into starting up a new business (Savvy Duck Computers), and I've been terribly busy.  Apparently someone noticed.

I was just minding my own business last night, watching Star Trek and fixing a computer for a local restaurant when this GIANT FRICKING T-REX burst right through my wall and roared at me!  Then he hesitated, shuffled his feet a little, apologized for getting carried away, and threw a CD at me.  After demanding in no uncertain terms that I post the entire contents of the CD on the internet (because, in his words, "my arms are too stubby to type with and your entire species is stubby so you're probably used to it"), he stormed out.  After changing my pants, I opened up the CD and this is what was on it:

Repairs to my wall have begun.  And one more thing: as he was leaving and gnawing on the remains of my couch, he mentioned that he would be back with more.  Fun.

Monday, September 27, 2010

The Butt Ride was a Success!

That's right, the Ride for the Cure for My Brother's Butt is over and it was a complete success!  With your help, we raised $1.64 per mile. The total mileage was 125.6, so the total comes to $205.98, more than doubling the Butt Fund!  I'll be updating the Butt Fund total as all of that comes in.

That was one of the roughest things I've done, but we did surprisingly well.  Alex's friend Stephen (who took Nick's place on the Ride at the last minute) and I made it to the coast in 6 hours and back in 6 and a half!  That's pretty good considering that my test ride, which was about the same length, took me over 7 and a half hours to complete.  I suppose I'm motivated by having someone else there with me, especially someone who can completely trounce me at physical activity.  I only had to walk my bike up three of the nasty hills, but if Stephen had had his way, we wouldn't have walked any of them!

It was nice and sunny most of the way there, and while we were there we ate dinner at a truly terrible restaurant, then watched a football game at a super awesome bar to which I'm totally going back.  We got to sleep in tents due to the fact that Alex followed us along in his car, and that was a good thing because it started raining overnight!

We got a late start in the morning, getting off at about 11, just when it started pouring!  It poured a third of the way back home, making us super soaked and making my stuffed underwear saaag.  I'll be posting pictures of that to the FMBB Facebook page soon.  The rest of the way went by pretty quick, but I am super duper tired from all that, even this morning.  I slept like a freaking log.

Thank you to all of you who sent in pledges, thank you Stephen for taking Nick's place (who got sick) so that I wouldn't be doing this alone, and thank you Alex for following along so we didn't have to carry so much (and didn't have to sleep in the rain).  I'll leave the Butt Ride page up at indefinitely for historical and awesomeness purposes.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Ride for the Butt Cure!

Well, I'm doing it!  Tomorrow morning, I will be leaving my home and setting off on the longest bike ride I've ever taken over rougher terrain than I've ever tackled... and then I'm doing it again the next day.

But I'm doing it all for a good cause!  My brother's butt needs to be fixed, and I'm going to do what I can to fix it.  If you can make a pledge, I'd appreciate it!  Even a penny or two per mile would help big.   If you'd like to cheer me on, I'd appreciate that too!  You can follow my progress at

Fun and shenanigans will be plentiful.  Wish me luck!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Will Do Embarrassing Things For Donations

Yes, my antics at this time appear to have no end.  I am making an official announcement here: I will do embarrassing (or even non-embarrassing things) for money.

I have made such offers in the past.  A friend of mine complained that he didn't like the progress thermometer on this website.  I offered to change it in return for a donation.  This offer is still open.  Later on I told another friend on Facebook that I'd draw a butt on my forehead for a donation.  This didn't happen either.  Then last weekend, I offered to sharpie a butt on my arm for a pledge to the Ride for the Cure for My Brother's Butt, or my forehead for a 50 cent pledge.  Finally someone took me up on it!  This was the result:

See?  I will do things for donations!  And I'll do even more too.  There are few places I won't stride for a hefty enough donation, so be creative!  Think up something stupid for me to do, send me an e-mail or post it on Facebook, and we'll see what we can work out.

Busting my butt so my brother can unbust his!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Pixel 1 Achieved!

Pixel 1?  What do I mean by that?

Well, we just had an extremely generous donation come in that brought us up above the $100 mark!  We still have a long way to go, but things are looking up.  Not only that, but now if you squint and look super duper crazy closely at the Butt Fund thermometer on the right, you'll see a strip of purple next to the 0.  That's right, the Butt Fund is now large enough so that the savings appear as the first row of pixels on that thermometer!

I did the math, and every pixel from the bottom of the 0 to the top of the thermometer represents exactly $80 of savings.  We'll get to the top!  We'll do it pixel by pixel but we'll get to the top.

Thank you all for your help.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Photos and Pledges

We here at have been busy!  (By we I mean I, and by busy I mean slightly less lazy.)  In the past week two major additions have been added to the website.  Here they are in no particular order:

Pledges!  I am now accepting pledges of funds per mile of distance I travel on the Ride for the Cure for My Brother's Butt!  Click that link to find a super-easy form you can use to pledge any amount.  Even as little as a nickel helps my brother's butt out a lot!

The Photography Store!  Fix My Brother's Butt has now become the only online supplier of Alex's photography!  An entire third of the purchase price for this amazing artwork goes toward getting his butt fixed, so now you can help my brother out and decorate your walls at the same time.

Keep watching, because I have many more plans to come!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Getting the Word Out

Now that my brother knows about the website and has allowed me to make it look more legit, my next task is to get the word out about it.

Before now, I was trying to keep the site fairly anonymous, so these efforts were limited to word-of-mouth and spreading the word anonymously on a number of websites and the 'spread the word' buttons along the top and side of all the pages.  In the two months that this site has been running, this is only now beginning to pay off (Thanks Reddit!)

Now that it's not an anonymous site anymore, I can start taking more interesting measures.  I've already started doing things like sending voice mails to some of the comedic podcasts I listen to, but I'm looking for more ideas.

Some of my friends suggest to me that I should start writing letters to celebrities.  It might be a good idea, and I'm willing to do it, but I question whether I would have a hope of getting any kind of response.

Do you have any ideas?  You could help me push this website toward success!  Send me an e-mail and tell me what brilliant thoughts you might have on spreading the word.

Thanks for visiting and stay tuned!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Ride for the Butt Cure!

I am announcing the Ride for the Cure for My Brother's Butt! On September 18, I'm going to ride to the coast and back wearing a giant pair of stuffed underwear, and I need you to sponsor my miles!  I also intend to wear a shirt with this finely-crafted logo:

Sponsorships run $5 for every mile I ride, and you can sponsor as many or as few miles as you wish. Not only that, but if you buy sponsorships, you get all the regular FixMyBrothersButt prizes that you would get for donating the same amount! And everything given for the sponsorships will go directly into the butt fund.

While I am not necessarily looking for others to go on the trip with me, my friend Nick has already generously said he will.  See the Butt Ride website for details!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Aaaaand he knows!

Last Wednesday, August 11, I finally told my brother about this website. He was pretty enthusiastic about the whole idea, so things are about to get crazy around here.

Step 1 is already complete: I have modified the website to make it look much, much more legit. Since I was finally able to ask my brother's permission to use is name, picture, and other details on, the website no longer looks super sketchy and hopefully people will be more apt to donate.

Step 2 is the Fix My Brother's Butt twitter feed! Now that I have Alex's permission, I will be able to use his feed for its originally intended purpose: updates about his butt!

Step 3 is new videos! I have taken a few fun videos in the past weeks that I haven't been able to post due to the fact that my brother is in them. Expect to see those begin to appear, along with the video I took of my brother's reaction to finding out about this website.

Step 4 is the Butt Store! I plan to offer prints of Alex's photography for sale directly from the website (along with some other goodies), with part of the proceeds going to him and part going to his Butt Fund. Look for that to appear sometime in the next few weeks.

Step 5 is a super secret project that won't be secret for much longer. You will see a hint of it appear today on the facebook page.

Stay tuned! These and many more shenanigans are forthcoming.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

August 11 Donation Rewards

A special announcement from

August 11 is my brother's birthday, and that means that it's his butt's birthday too! To recognize this important occasion, rewards for all donations made on Wednesday, August 11 will be given for half the normal donation amount. That means $5 will get you a message on the website, $50 will get you a butt photograph, $250 will get you a gyroscope whirligig, and $500 will get me to kiss your butt!

This is a one day only promotion, so if you were thinking of donating and haven't yet, August 11 is a great time! Please support my brother's butt on its birthday and give it a happy birthday too.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Butt Photography

No, not photography of butts, but instead a video highlighting some of the amazing photography that my brother and his butt have taken. Sorry about the jittery video, and the old resolution, and the poor sound quality; I completed this with extreme haste while I was late for something else. Now that I have adequately lowered your expectations, enjoy! Warning - sophomoric humor ensues.

Monday, July 19, 2010

New Prizes!

Major surprise announcement! New prizes are being added as incentives to donate to the cause. This was a surprise to me as well; I sent one of my brother's friends a message telling him about the website, and he responded almost immediately saying he wanted to contribute. He is finishing up his degree as a machinist and has an extremely cool contribution.

As of this moment, anyone who donates $500 or more to the butt find gets one of these crazy high-precision gyroscopes:

Awesome, right? He is planning to offer other prizes too, so stay tuned! Read the details here:

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Help Out by Shopping Amazon!

I won't quit this thing until I've found a way to fix my brother's butt for good. To that end, I've added yet another free way for you to help with the effort. Just use the search box at the right to search!

That's right. A cut of anything purchased using that search box will go directly to the butt fund, and it's no more expensive to you than shopping at a regular store. In a lot of cases, it's actually way cheaper! A win for you, a win for me, and most importantly, a win for my brother's butt.

Here, I'll even add a few links to get you started.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Help Out with a Butt Video

Sunday, I mentioned that if you send me a video of your own, I'd post it on Today, I'm taking that idea to the next level and announcing an effort to get lots of videos added to help promote Fix My Brothers Butt! It's an easy and free way to help get by brother's butt fixed, and I'd be infinitely appreciative of anyone who wants to contribute.

I'm leaving the content of the video wide open. It can be about this website, about fixing my brother's butt, about butts in general, or not about butts at all. All I ask is that you try to keep it relatively clean.

If you'd like to help out in this way, post your video online and either send me an e-mail with a link to it or post it as a response to one of the videos in the fixmybrothersbutt YouTube channel. You'll see it appear in the Butt Friends section of the Butt Videos page within a couple of days.

In fact, there are already a couple of videos there, including this newly-added gem performed by another of my friends' kids. Sadly, I haven't gotten any of their parents to join in yet, the wusses. That's right, I'm talking to you!

Monday, July 5, 2010

Butt Surgery Reenactment!

The moment you have been waiting for has arrived! A few days ago, my roommate and I filmed a dramatic reenactment of the infamous original butt surgery that has caused all of my brother's butt-related problems. We may have taken a bit of artistic license with the details. Happy Independence Day!

If you like that, there are more videos on the newly-created Butt Videos section of the website! In fact, I'm announcing a new way you can help out. If you're the creative sort, film a video about the website, about fixing my brother's butt, or about butts in general, then tell me and I'll put it up on the Butt Videos page. Butts!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The First Butt Video is Here!

That's right! It's a bit belated because of my poor upload speeds and a minor phone snafu, but the first of many planned shenanigans has arrived! Take a look:

Pretty good for part of a weekend and one very late night, right? And it only gets better from here on out. Stay tuned!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

More Ways to Spread the Word!

There are now several easy and free ways to help out Fix My Bother's Butt! Today, I've modified the website to include several links you can use to share the site with your friends as well as complete strangers.

I've discovered that one of the biggest challenges in launching a big donation campaign like this is the difficulty in getting the word out about it. I know that a lot of people out there would be amused enough by the concept of Fix My Brother's Butt to contribute to the effort, but getting the word to them isn't easy.

To that end, I've created these new e-mail and social bookmarking links. On the right side of the page underneath the donate buttons, you'll find ten direct links to places you can use to spread the word, and more are coming. Please take a few seconds to help get the word out!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Time to kick it up a notch!

I have slightly unfortunate news. In the 48 hours since I started Fix My Brother's Butt, not a single Butt Fund donation has come through. The $10 that it displays now is the amount that I threw in to make sure the donations are working at all.

While disappointing, it's also not that surprising. Money is tight these days for everyone, and not a whole lot of people know about Fix My Brother's Butt. At least not yet.

I anticipated this possibility, and I planned for it. In short, it's time to kick it up a notch! This weekend, I will create a crazy YouTube video to try and spread Fix My Brother's Butt far and wide! I have a few other surprises up my sleeve as well.

There are things you as well! Take a moment out of your day to tell someone else about Fix My Brother's Butt. Follow the fixmybrothersb twitter feed or friend Fix My Brother's Butt on Facebook. Post links to forums or whatnot. And even if you do nothing else, keep following the website. You won't be disappointed!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Why all the anonymity?

You may have noticed that I've taken some steps to keep Fix My Brother's Butt more or less anonymous. There are two reasons for this.

Reason one is the fact that my brother doesn't even know this thing exists. Yep, that's right, my brother does not yet know that there is a website dedicated to his butt. I've kept it that way because I want to see how far we can get before he finds out about it. If I post my name on the website, there's a chance that someone will inform him prematurely, and I want to avoid that if I can. He will find out about it eventually, but it will likely be from someone else I've told and not from me.

Reason number two is this: due to the fact I haven't told my brother about this campaign, he hasn't given me explicit permission to tell his story. Don't get me wrong here, I'm reasonably certain he wouldn't mind. He did give me permission to write my senators a few months ago and use his case study as an example in favor of my arguments about health care. Also, the website was partly his idea (I'll explain that later). However, until he tells me for sure that it's okay to tell people on the internet that this story is about him, I would rather keep things anonymous.

I do realize that this anonymity makes the website look kind of sketchy, and I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to wait till something more solid is posted before you donate. Another option is to contact me personally to verify that I'm on the up-and-up.

And hey, wouldn't it be awesome if we could raise at least $1000 before he figures it out? Pitch in if you can!

Monday, June 21, 2010

Fix My Brother's Butt Launches Tonight!

And the moment has finally arrived! After twenty-four hours of strife, sweat, blood, hardship, a little more blood, and a minor encounter involving a mentally-challenged squirrel, Fix My Brother's Butt has launched! Visit it here:

What is this crazy thing? It is a campaign to solicit donations with the goal of getting my brother's botched butt surgery fixed.

Long story short, my brother had a surgery in mid 2009 to remove a cyst from his tailbone. The surgery was more or less botched, and now he can't sit for long periods of time without severe pain. He needs another surgery to fix it, but he has no insurance, he had to leave his driving job because he can't sit that long anymore, and the work he needs done is too expensive. In fact, it could come to $16,000 when you include related expenses like doctor visits and tests! Lucky for him his brother is a supernerd with way too much time on his hands, so now he has a website dedicated to his butt!

There are rewards! There are laughs! Good times are to be had by all! Once again, check it out: